I feel like God answered my prayers and delivered the perfect girl into my life, but there are complicating factors that perhaps require clear thinking (not unquestioning faith).

It feels like every message indicates empathy, every emoji indicates devotion and every micro-expression indicates truthfulness… it’s made me crazy about her within a week.

That scares me because it indicates that I am thinking with my heart and not my head… yet the rational part of me can see that there are risks involved.

We met through Filipino Cupid, which has a lot of scammers, and the risks range from being an outright Nigerian love scam to being only used for money or a passport.   

I am looking for the future mother of my children, not someone who only sees me as an ATM card or a passport and is going to leave me for a younger man because that’s what’s truly in her heart.

I want to believe that she really likes me and I can trust her…  but my friends tell me that a 21-year old wouldn’t truly want a 35-year old.

On the one hand, there is the potential upside of finding lifelong love with a woman I adore – so I don’t want to screw it up by offending her.

On the other hand, there is the potential downside of getting scammed or betrayed – so I don’t want to walk into the situation blindly.

It seems essential to reduce the uncertainty around the situation so I can put my fears and doubts to bed. 

Firstly, I need to identify if she is who she says she is (and is not a love scammer), perhaps by video calling her and ideally meeting in person. 

Though travelling to another country, such as the UAE, to meet someone you met online carries risks too… what about risks such as kidnapping? 

Secondly, I need to try and ascertain if she genuinely likes me and wants to be with me in her heart of hearts, or will she just leave me for a younger man once she gets permanent residency?  

Thirdly, in order to reduce risk of conflict later, we need to discuss expectations around issues such as money and location.

Perhaps I am killing the vibe and thinking too far ahead but that’s just the way I am… I plan for the future and make decisions pretty quickly. 

The way I see it, it’s better to make these determinations reasonably soon so we can both relax and have fun, even if it risks driving her away by writing this blog post.