Ah my childhood street, it still feels like home even in the caffeinated early morning darkness, many years later.

I’ve been talking to a young woman, and my achy heart feels like it’s gushing with emotion, and my extremities are in a cold sweat.

In the past this excitement usually led to heartbreak, but it feels good this time because now that I have found God, I feel assured of being loved, whatever happens, so I can relax and have fun.

However, I do feel that this particular girl is special, here’s why…

I was praying this morning, visualising myself sitting with Jesus in heaven, watching my past, present and future play out on a screen.

Jesus was patient yet authoritative with my trouble-making younger self… I felt secure that no matter how out of control I could ever get Jesus would humbly accept me and not stop loving me.

What of the future though?

The one thing I do want is a beautiful girl with family values to wife up and have many kids with.

But as I have grown assured of God’s love I have learned to accept whatever his will for my life is… even if it means not getting anything I want.

My phone buzzed and I saw “New message from ANGEL”… I immediately interpreted this as a sign from God so I responded straight away.

I thought she was cute and cool and things seem to flow effortlessly so I decided to show I liked her by acting like a man and making the move.

We spoke on WhatsApp, and I was giddy with emotion (good and bad) all day while she was at work, but I feel cautious as well.

Following God’s will has got me this far and that’s the only thing that has ever worked for me, so I surrender to his will.

This girl seems like the girl of my dreams… young, beautiful, cute, cool… did I mention she’s a virgin?

However, at the risk of getting my heart broken again, I am going to try and stay grounded in my faith and let God decide whether she is the right one for me.