The loving afterglow of mindfulness coursing through my nervous system illuminated the early morning silence.

I was now visualising myself sitting on a couch together with Jesus in heaven, watching my childhood on television.

Contemplating the facial expression of God when he sits with you is a grounding experience.

One’s heart blooms as their ego drops away.

How does one ask for what they want from someone who has given everything and owes you nothing?

Humbly, is the answer.

I envisioned my life 2-3 years in the future, with a bride in the joy of her youthful innocence.

Then, remembering I had a networking event later this morning, I went on LinkedIn to check the details.

At the last networking event I went to I had a panic attack, but I feel called to expose myself to my fear of being in a tribe.

I opened a message to grey it out, expecting it to be a sales pitch and already decided that I was going to ignore it because I was too broke.

It was a kind man who made me feel welcome in the moments before my panic attack, suggesting I speak with his mother about brain coaching for anxiety.

Ordinarily, I would not accept help from anyone because I am too broke.

I sent her an email explaining how I was spinning my wheels.

Sometimes God opens doors that have always seemed unopenable.